Extroverts have higher IQs

Introvert and extrovert

Introvert and extrovert

Every soul has a "feel-good volume". But quiet, introverted people are in the minority. In our noisy world, which mainly sees the more extroverted than others, they feel out of place. Wrongly.

The inauguration ceremony for the new neighbors begins in fifteen minutes. A really nice family. Two children, a dog - and certainly a lot of friends. The eloquent insurance salesman across the street and his charismatic girlfriend will also be there. Just like the self-confident agency boss from the third floor, who will make everyone laugh again. He has had a tough week at work.

Extroverts set the tone, silence is overlooked

And you? Are you looking forward to this evening, good conversations and being among people? Or would you prefer to stay at home because you notice that your batteries are empty and you know how much energy such a party costs you every time? Of course, none of us are without exception a party grouch or party animal. Rather, a so-called personality dimension runs between the two terms, which psychologists have recently been scrutinizing more closely. They speak of introversion (party muffle) and extroversion (party animal). Put simply: You divide the world into loud and quiet people. Each has an individual volume control. We can turn it around depending on the mood and the situation. At the same time, we all have a “feel-good volume” that we don't like to exceed or fall below because it is not good for us in the long run. If psychologists examine other characteristics, for example the IQ, they almost always come across a mean value that most people hardly fall below or exceed. Scientists call this "normal distribution". The case is obviously different with introversion and extroversion, the “inner volume”. About 75 out of 100 people are extroverted, i.e. rather loud. Only 25 percent are introverted, i.e. rather quiet. In addition, studies show that those who are loud are more attractive and smarter to others, and are more successful and popular at work.

It is therefore not surprising that the quiet sometimes feel like outsiders or like the famous black sheep. “Even as a child, I was often a mystery to myself,” writes US psychologist Marti Laney. “It took me years to figure out that all of my puzzling contradictions actually made sense: I was a perfectly normal, introverted person. This discovery gave me great relief. "

Genes regulate the volume. It is good - the way it is

So there is nothing wrong with being quiet. It's a force. Assuming introverts take three - low ones! - Obstacles: 1. You should benevolently accept that you are more silent than others. 2. You should be open about it and talk about it in order not to be perceived as weird, funny and cool any longer. 3. They should learn to manage their energy, charge their batteries regularly - and then show all their strengths at the right moment.

It helps to know that the internal volume control is partly innate. Criticizing yourself for it doesn't make sense. After all, we don't judge ourselves for having ten fingers, two legs and a head. There, by the way, researchers discovered other important differences: In the brain of introverted people, the blood takes a different route than in extroverted people. In the case of sounds it is short and direct, in the case of silence it is long and branched. They also have more blood flowing into their brains. That means: You will be stimulated more “from within”.

Loud people, on the other hand, need a lot of external stimuli, because only these stimulate the release of adrenaline and dopamine - two messenger substances that extroverts can be downright addicted to. On top of that, dopamine has a later and shorter effect on them than on breastfeeding people. Instead, another messenger substance is used in their brains, acetylcholine.

Mutual respect

When a lot happens inside, outside stimuli can be annoying

Upbringing, lifestyle and culture naturally influence this basic nervous system. But even in this case it is of little use to be annoyed that it cannot be changed as much as we might like. It is there, given by nature - and good! "Because so much happens inside, quiet people have a stronger need to isolate themselves from external stimuli, to withdraw," explains Sylvia Löhken, author and communication trainer from Bonn. “You should ask yourself: which environment is good for me? How much company do I need to feel good? "

Silence can do anything if it is important to them

But don't all (pre-) sounds pass the silent ones while they are still thinking about whether it is good for their quiet core to join in now? Aren't the higher salaries, the better jobs, the better lovers long gone, until introverts dare to take cover like shy deer? No. "Quiet people can do pretty much anything, provided it is important to them," says Sylvia Löhken emphatically. We know enough prominent evidence. They all have something in common: Introverts are always concerned with the matter, never just about being the center of attention. After performing, they withdraw in order to remain productive. Get out of cover? Yes! Silent people enrich every "loud" team with their strengths

However, this does not only apply to prominent "intros". Every silence - this test reveals whether you are one - should regularly think about (and write down) what and who is really important to them. Honestly wondering if there are certain things that he may not be doing because he is intimidated by the loud “extros”. "Above all, non-verbal communication is important in order not to be labeled as disinterested or arrogant," says Stephanie Hollstein, psychological consultant in Düsseldorf. "Smiles, attentive nods or open body language - that can make a big difference." As well as good preparation. Regardless of whether a professional or private appointment is pending. "If you want to get to know certain people there, you can search for them on the Internet beforehand, for example, and think about related topics," advises Hollstein. Marti Laney has also thought of tactics for private or professional celebrations:

1. Sit in a quiet place and wait there until other guests come who also need a break.

2. Pretend: First, like an actress, pretend to be self-confident, then it quickly becomes a real feeling.

3. Have an unusual prop with you. Marti Laney, for example, owns Groucho Marx glasses. That can be a first topic of conversation.

4. First aid: If it gets too much, take a deep breath, go to the bathroom or the garden alone, inconspicuously signal to your partner that it is enough.

Mutual respect creates creative tension

But extroverts also have to rethink or change their tactics. Especially in the professional environment: "Because they are usually in the foreground, a huge potential of good ideas and contributions is given away," says Sylvia Löhken. Instead, managers and colleagues should respect when someone needs more rest and time.

Patience pays off: If quiet people feel that they are accepted for who they are, they work at least as hard and effectively as the loudspeakers in the team. “Both intros and extros have to learn to respect each other. Then both sides can learn a lot from each other, ”says Löhken. "When both temperaments work together with their respective strengths, productive tension arises."