Confidence increases the level of pride

no love for lack of submission?

i didn't know where to put this topic in, i need the help of experts, but it's actually about a relationship issue that i have.

so as not to expand it too much at first:

i have had an affair for over 3 years. At first he was mine because I was in a relationship, now I am his because it is him.

we cannot leave each other, are downright addicted to each other. yet he says he doesn't love me.

I have often asked myself what it is that I like about him. it is flooding me right now because I am only now becoming aware of it.

it's his dominant style.

with weaker men, i'm usually the strong one, and set the tone.

with him i can be weak, feel secure, responsibility taken from me. I can live out my submissive vein and he his dominant. only I was never aware of it, I don't believe him sooo directly either.

When we saw each other recently, he expressed the wish to dominate me, and he addressed this topic very carefully.

I asked if he could do this, because in my opinion his relationship stands in the way.

much earlier, when we talked about each other before and I asked him what bothers him about me, he said that nothing bothers him, only that I'm married. I didn't take it seriously at the time, thought it was just an excuse.

I still had the relationship back then, now I'm separated, but I'm still married, it only exists on paper, it doesn't mean anything to me anymore.

what my train of thought is now ...

as a dominant man, he wants submission that i am his property, belong only to him.

I am otherwise quite self-confident, pursue my goals, never allow myself to be indulged and am quite dominant in life, even with weaker men.

I only feel my submissive tendency with him, and sometimes I also fight against it because I feel so inferior and weak.

so it may well be that he doesn't know what is really going on in me. but he knows that I love him.

can it be that he cannot love me if I show him my strength too much because - as I read - for a dominant man submission is a proof of love? and because I officially "belong" to someone else (from his point of view) ??

Does a dom fall in love with his sub because she surrenders to him? or do you see it more as a game without love?

I hope this is not too confusing.

how do you see it?