Have you ever played a prank on your own children
Hansi and the embarrassing mug cut
Question: Mr. Dorfner, three words that characterize your childhood.
Dorfner: Will. Stubbornness. Happy.
Your best childhood experience?
Dorfner: The visits to the Munich Olympic Stadium. Getting out of the village, taking the subway, a soccer game. I can still remember my first one: Bayern won 7-1 against Schalke back then.
And your worst experience as a child?
Dorfner: When my specialist came into the combine harvester. I stood by and looked stupid. That was a shocking experience! Luckily, apart from a few scratches, nothing happened to him, he could have been dead.
What pranks did you play on others as a kid?
Dorfner: I was a very good child.
I don't believe you.
Dorfner: Yes, really true! In fact, I was rather shy.
You must have done something in your life.
Dorfner: Oh, a lot, but I won't say that. I was older then. . . (laughs)
If you look at photos from yesteryear today. . .
Dorfner:. . . then I always think: My God, how did I look then! Bad! The hairstyles. . .
Mullet? (Editor's note: short front, long back)
Dorfner: Full barrel! Short front and back a mat! A real mug cut. My aunt always gave me that - extremely embarrassing! But everyone had that back then, some even with schnauzers: Norbert Nachtweih, Klaus Augenthaler, Wiggerl Kögl. The clothing was also brutal.
Your most hideous clothes?
Dorfner: All terrible! For example, a red tank top and red pants. . . I have already said to my mom sometimes: The way you dressed me up back then is unbelievable.
Your favorite game as a child?
Dorfner: Soccer! Day and night! On the street, in the square, in the meadow next to my uncle's farm - everywhere. With the boys from the village and alone. For example, I shot the neighbors' house wall for hours. Continuously. Right, left, instep.
As a child, what career aspirations did you write in "My Friends" albums?
Dorfner: That wasn't asked, but I would certainly have been a professional footballer. Even as a small child, I didn't want to be anything else.
What idol did you have then?
Dorfner: I liked Günter Netzer a lot. I was always that when we bolted in the village. I used to be a shrink-wrapped Gladbach fan with bed linen, a scarf, hats and a jersey. . . Even when I was playing in the Bayern youth team, I still had a Gladbach poster hanging in my room. Until the youth leader came and tore it off my wall. As a child I was a real Bayern hater.
Two weeks ago, Munich and Mönchengladbach opened the Bundesliga season. . .
Dorfner: I was in the Allianz Arena. There was a great atmosphere and the game wasn't bad. But that I once said: awesome, brilliant, what a stroke of genius - that didn't exist. Today I admire Mehmet Scholl, for example: He is one of the few who sometimes do things that you don't expect. I miss that very much in the Bundesliga.
What advice you received as a child will you never forget?
Dorfner: It was more like what my father set an example for me than a specific piece of advice: his honesty, his straightforwardness, say what you think. I inherited these qualities from him, even if they cost me a lot - for example, taking part in the World Cup because I once criticized Franz Beckenbauer. Nevertheless, I try to pass this openness on to my children.
And what do you convey to the young footballers in your soccer school?
Dorfner: having fun and enjoying football. Of course, the children should also learn something, but I don't see or promote talent.
What physical and human requirements do children have to have in order to be successful in football?
Dorfner: You have to be really fit, have strength, athleticism and endurance. And an uncanny will and ambition. I admire Oli Kahn for that. I don't like him, but he motivates himself from year to year. If I were him, with his 36 years and his money, I would say: I've had enough. I'm building a house in Italy, buying a vineyard, retiring and drinking my glass of wine every night. But you have to be as crazy as the boat to make it to the top. And you have to be a team player. Anyone who tries to assert oneself as an individual fails.
What memorabilia do you still have from your childhood?
Dorfner: A couple of jerseys, especially certificates and medals from football and table tennis. I was once a Bavarian champion. I threw away all my certificates.
Because they were so bad?
Dorfner: Yes, I was really a very bad and incredibly lazy student. Especially in physics and math - a disaster! My two big kids didn't steal it from me (laughs).
Would you like to be a child again?
Dorfner: Well! I want to be who I am now - not a day younger or older. 40 is a great age. I'm still young inside and still have more life experience than anyone of my age.
How do the children of yesteryear differ from the children of today?
Dorfner: Back then we weren't as advanced or cool as the children are today. How they dress. . .
Red tank tops and trousers are just not so trendy anymore.
Dorfner: Well, but was it ever they? I just ran around with my mug cut. . . Or when I look at the text messages my eleven-year-old boy is getting from girls - that's amazing!
Speaking of girls: when did you first fall in love?
Dorfner: Really at 17. My first wife, now divorced from me. We moved in together early then, too early. She went to Nuremberg with me.
Was she enthusiastic about football?
Dorfner: Not particularly, but that was a good thing. There is nothing worse than player women like Claudia Strunz, who say to their men after a game: But here and there you played a lot of shit together.
Would you ever have sacrificed football for a woman's sake?
Dorfner: Today I'm not that crazy about football anymore, but before - never! Football has always been my top priority, it was my great love.
Last, obligatory question: Who will be world champion?
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