How do I cure Oneitis

Lovesick Pain: This is how you deal with pain after a breakup

When our heart is broken, we can feel it: a pain that takes our breath away, a pressure in the chest, a stinging that doesn't seem to stop. Many of us literally feel our broken hearts.

This feeling of pain is completely normal. When you're in the middle of a breakup, your body is exposed to extremely stressful situations. He is permanently electrified and struggles to survive - in the truest sense of the word.

Illnesses and physical reactions to lovesickness

When you're in a breakup, your feelings are far from positive. Fear, panic, anger, hatred and despair are your constant companions that generate negative thoughts.

It is impossible not to feel physical pain during a breakup!

How closely your physical condition is related to your mental state can also be seen very clearly in expressions such as:

  • "I'm getting bile in a moment."
  • "I feel sick."
  • "My heart stops."
  • "That makes me sweat with fear."
  • "That'll keep my spit away."

At Anger and hatred you often suffer from constipation, back pain, insomnia, headaches, loss of appetite, overeating, and palpitations.

Despair causes loss of appetite, insomnia, low blood pressure, loss of sexual desire and the well-known 'lump in the throat'.

anxiety in turn causes diarrhea, sweating, palpitations, sleep disorders and dizziness.

Sleep disorders are one of the most common reactions

Do you keep waking up, drenched in sweat and having nightmares? I know from both my clients and myself that a broken heart and lovesickness can mess up your sleep patterns.

This is because your emotions and thoughts are omnipresent and, as I said, inseparable from your body.

What can you do to get at least some sleep?

  • Sports: Power your body in such a way that it needs a rest phase in order to regenerate.
  • Go before bed in the tub. Put up some candles, put on meditation music, and relax your body in a warm bath. On the one hand, this calms you down and, on the other hand, it prepares your body for sleep.
  • Set sleep times and stick to it. At the moment everything in your life is a bit out of joint. Therefore, you should try to establish a sleep routine and stick to it even if you don't feel like it. The rhythm will do you good!
  • Get one Notebook next to your bed! The worst thoughts and ideas come to you during the night: Write them down and tell yourself, 'I'll deal with that tomorrow. There is nothing I can do about it now. ‘Try to actually make yourself aware that at this moment you cannot change anything about the situation. It will still be the same tomorrow, whether you sleep or not.
  • If you're having panic attacks, lie on your back with the palm of your hand on your stomach, and breathe in and out slowly. Try to calm yourself down. Just focus on your breathing, close your eyes, and try to sleep and not brood too much. I know this sounds easier than it is, but it helps. Breathe. This is a sign that you are alive even if you are not feeling that way right now.
  • Valerian and St. John's wort bring you down and calm your nerves. You can get both over the counter in the pharmacy.
  • Avoid sleeping pills! Even if it's tempting, I strongly advise against sleeping pills. Try as best you can to find a natural sleep, even if it takes a little longer than with tablets. Why? Watch this video!

Good diet and exercise can work wonders

'Good nutrition ?!' you might be thinking. And yes, I can understand that, because there are two extremes that you can go through with lovesickness: loss of appetite or overeating. Both have nothing to do with eating well, but are normal reactions.

And yes, exercise will also help you, I guarantee you that! Not only do you get your body in shape and feel more attractive, serotonin is released during exercise - a happiness hormone.

The combination of a balanced diet and exercise is best for you. The sentence is very easy to type for me, to be in the situation - and remember, I was there myself! - is a completely different chapter.

Nevertheless, I would like to briefly explain to you which foods are good for your body, so that you know what to eat so that you feel better:

You know that you should only drink a small amount of alcohol or, best of all, not drink it at all. The same applies to nicotine and other intoxicants. I spare myself to go into it at this point and trust in your common sense.

You are what you eat, they say so beautifully. Your body feeling depends on what you eat. You know the feeling when you overeat or just stuffed unhealthy stuff into you. But that's exactly what you can use to your advantage, because there are very specific foods that are good for your body and mind and have a positive effect on your well-being.

Especially in your current state, you should give your body what is good for it. So which nutrients have a positive effect on your well-being? [Note: I personally am a vegetarian and not a fan of meat, but for the sake of completeness I will list it anyway].

amino acids are protein building blocks and are particularly important for your nerves. You can find them in eggs, dairy and dairy products, whole grains, fish, and poultry.

Tryptophan is one of the most important amino acids because it helps in the formation of serotonin, the happiness hormone. You can find this mainly in bananas, nuts, cheese, avocado, tomatoes, sunflower seeds as well as meat and fish.

Serotonin is a messenger substance that has a positive effect on your mental state and is also known as the happiness hormone. You can find it mostly in bananas, pineapples, dried dates, avocados, and tomatoes.

vitamin B you need for your nerves. Whole grains, whole grain rice, milk, eggs and meat are particularly good for this.

Also Lecithin is good for your nervous system and is found in large amounts in buttermilk, walnuts, eggs, corn, peas, and soy products.

magnesium is a mineral that helps with stress and is essential when you have a broken heart. You can find it in whole grains, vegetables, bananas, dairy and dairy products, and poultry.

Capasaicin is in red chili peppers. The spiciness of the chilli sends pain to the brain. As a result, endorphins (happiness hormones) are released to combat them.

water you should drink a lot in every situation, because it helps your body to work. 1.5 to 2 liters a day are ideal.

Johannis herbs lifts your mood and increases your well-being. You can get it over the counter in the pharmacy and I would definitely recommend it to you.

I got the list from the book 'Liebeskummer' by Silvia Fauck.

How our thoughts affect our physical condition

Our soul, our thoughts and our body are connected - always. And every thought and every experience creates a physical reaction. However, there is one special feature: our brain cannot decide whether this situation is happening or not, because it depends on our thoughts. And that's exactly why it is incredibly important to pay attention to our thoughts!


I only started doing it myself a few months ago, and I can tell you: Meditation calms you and your thoughts. Try it out, I promise you will be much calmer and more focused. You can find valuable and helpful information about meditation, trauma management and soul communication here.


Accept that you cannot be as productive as usual. You are in a stressful situation and sometimes you cannot cope with normal everyday situations as well as usual. Do not be so hard on yourself. Love yourself and treat yourself well!

Short and compact:

  • Unfortunately, physical pain cannot be avoided when a breakup occurs.
  • Sleep disorders are the most common problem, but you can actively do something about it.
  • Sport and a healthy diet not only support your physical, but above all also your mental well-being.
  • Have a doctor examine you, but also tell him what situation you are in, so that he can incorporate this into his diagnosis.
  • Pay attention to your thoughts and consciously influence them positively as they relieve your physical pain.
  • Meditate
  • The physical pain is not permanent, as is your lovesickness. But in the time that it is there, you have to find a way for yourself to deal with it.

Photo: © kbuntu

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